i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
