Don't you send me to vm
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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