i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
