You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Text me some of your sweat
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
