i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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