it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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