you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize