if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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