Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just cropdusted the office
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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