he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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