I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
