i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
