so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
