I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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