At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
