the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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