There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
