one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
