Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
