i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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