so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
