We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
