Say something about gay babies.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The air taste purple.
Randomize
