I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
