it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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