I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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