You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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