Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
