and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
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He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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