ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
