Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
