Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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