I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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