my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
