I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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