Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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