he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
