I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize