Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just blew my weed a kiss
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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