Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
