PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
