you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
