Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
