you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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