Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
