There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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