guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
