that's an acceptable place to lick
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
