I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
