i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
