I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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