How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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