UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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