Plan B is the new Plan A
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
