you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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