Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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