I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
