No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
