Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
