she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
