I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
