hotel room ftw
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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