Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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