I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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