Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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